The strong friend seems to be the go to person. There seems to be one person in a sisterhood or brotherhood that people go to for advice and guidance, but can you be the strong friend for your strong friend? Can you be there for your strong friend when they need you? Can you reciprocate the relationship and be that support system for them that they are for you?
You ever heard of the saying strong leaders create leaders and not followers. (I switched the words up a little lol) If that strong friend is really strong they will teach you how to be that strong friend for them and others. You would be able to reciprocate it when necessary. NOT everybody can be the strong friend for the strong friend though. I’m going to repeat that NOT EVERYBODY CAN BE THE STRONG FRIEND FOR THE STRONG FRIEND. Not everybody has the abilities of the strong friend. Or the patience to put up with other peoples problems. Not everybody is a good listener. Not everybody gives valid or sound advice.
So, you have to ask yourself can you honestly be the strong friend for the strong friend. Can you do what they do for you, or at least try to be that support to them. We often forget that the strong friend is not really STRONG. They have their moments when they are weak and need picking up too, but they rarely have somebody to pick them up. They typically have to pick themselves up because they are the STRONG one.
When I think of a strong friend; I think of Anani Kulu Fatiu. I can not call this man my brother and spiritual adviser and not have learned how to be to him what he is to me. Of course I am not a spiritual adviser, and my advice might not be as logical and profound. But I can give it. I can speak words of heka (power). I can pray for him and with him. I can call up another brother and sistah with my problems to give him a break from mines. That’s what being a strong friend to a strong friend means. It means being of service to them. Giving them a break. Telling them you love them. Being reciprocal! Being genuine! Being their strong friend for once in a while!
No relationship is a one way street. You have to give what you want to receive. You cant just take in relationships. That’s not fair to you or the person you are taking from. Remember that our strong friends are human too. They need as much love and support that they give. They need 10 strong friends. Don’t take on the responsibility if you are not ready, and don’t put so much stress and burdens on your strong friend that they are holding on to those weights with no release!
“BE THAT STRONG FRIEND FOR YOUR STRONG FRIEND, OR THEY WILL NO LONGER BE STRONG!’ -Nia